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Sarah Ahmed. Mind the Gap! Complaint as a Queer Method. The Present Is Not Enough – Performing Queer Histories and Futures. 21.06.2019. Hebbel am Ufer, Berlin

I

Wait – how did we get here who is here who is speaking when was the last time a door was shut on you have you ever had a door shut on you I remember the grin of the white man as he looked down onto me

A door appears a door closes a door opens into the unknown I am jumping heart first my fist clenched just in case my femme nails as weapons ready-made scratching surface no erasure here as long as there is a trace of pink lipstick on a wall I love the sound of your laughter

I am not your currency I am not your statistic you cannot contain my body in between your institutional walls inside your drawers I am always too much but God knows I am enough You won’t silence my glorious lips into your ether I joyfully embrace the sky of sorrow for when the demons come I’ll be there waiting with my warrior heels and axe

There have been many ways of trespassing the gap between terrains

Between wars

Between allegories

But the last time the bridge got burnt was in the ether of that night

Solstice

II

it was last night and now the scrub left my skin peeled; the day will be and it’s there for a reason, but is it enough?

failing, my beautiful friend; over and over again, then write again, see again, listen again, cycles, not my turn but realistic difference

yesterday was a speaking moon, speaking stars of colors; speaking moons, gazing, listen to its colored stars.

today the birds are still out there, we feed each other, they are kin, breathing sensing – for all the doors now and then are not enough: wood, material, signs, „sweaty concepts“.